"Loyalty" is not a virtue - it is what is invoked to tempt others, to lie.
That is the phrase found in every institutional cover up, of Evil or illegal behaviors.
Loyalty is the anti-virtue, because if people in general, were honest, fair, and kind, we would have no need of it.
Every time there is institutional predations, or systematic ones, loyalty, and threats are used to attempt to silence, those who dissent from speaking their conscience.
Ask any of my students, I tell them, "don't be loyal to me, not in the slightest, I am the teacher, I do not need your loyalties. Be loyal to being the best you, you can be, and do that which is right."
I also tell them, "do not believe anything I say, unless you can prove it for yourself - except observe the safety protocols in our room, or encounter, or experiment."
I struggle every day, to tell the truth, rather than lie.
Lies are convenient, their immediate convenience tempts us, but they are not good for me, they are poison.
I have no ground to stand on, when I lie, none.
Nor if I cheat my business counter parties, nor if am not fair to my counter parties,
Nor when I am unkind, when I do not need to be.
These are Bad Things, that make me less, because I have the strength not to do them, and so does anybody reading this.
I make a point to remember, when I was unkind, when I did not need to be, or when I lied, or was unfair, to remind myself not to repeat those mistakes, again.
And, I believe in putting controls in place, to discourage or prevent predations, and predators are usually people we know, they look just like all of us.
Ask any accountant, or auditor, and they will tell you, controls and checks, serve a very useful purpose.
Also, a useful practice, I think, is observing Keanu Reeves take photographs, with fans, particularly female fans, and minors.
He grants them their photograph opportunity, but makes a point, not to touch them.
Think about that.
Also, Formal relationships, do not lead to confusion.
Informal relationships, do.
As for me, if I am the coach, or teacher, that means, I have a role,
That must always be formal, in that way.
Sometimes, that requires ourselves to be a little distant, to those we otherwise care about deeply.
Because that role, is a responsibility, to a client, or party, that depends on us, for that role.
And not to prey on them, not to steal from them, nor use them as if they were arrows, nor hamburger meat, nor property, nor disposable, but very important human beings.
Not just regarding the matter of preventing sexual assaults, but also not placing them in harm's way, for our vanities, nor our business reasons, or conflicts of interest.
We are in the business of sportified violence, and self-defense.
Otherwise, if we are selfish, naive, or ignorant, we can get those people, our clients, those who depended on us, hurt, injured, or dead.
If we create cults around ourselves, we have damaged our students ability to self-defense, critically think, and/or be sufficiently self-sustaining and independent.
